Ihla grande to Florionopolis

We left our hostel and went to get a boat over to the mainland. In the 5 mins we had to wait before boarding the boat I ran into the drug store and via mime, facial expressions and gesticulation was given a cream for my bites.... with Portuguese instructions. On the boat there were some English people sat in front and behind us, rich, 'gap yaaaah' type kids. I caught a glimpse of one's playlist and noticed they were enjoying a bit of Celine Dion and Ne-yo. The boat took an hour then we had to get a local bus but the two people whom I asked if they spoke English (In Portuguese) totes ignored me, so we were off to a good start haha. I had a comfort kit kat and reassessed the situation. Found the tourist information and got on a bus eventually after sitting at the bus stop watching an old Brazilian man,5 with no teeth gurn, in a really cute way. We got long distance bus number one where we were sat in front of each other but then after an hour a man in a hat and glasses (disguise) came and sat by me and he smelt the same as my best mate Will Johns (Chanel allure homme sport) which was pleasant.

After 7 hours of bumping along a never ending s-shaped road and drifting in and out of snoozes, we arrived at São Paulo bus station. We set up camp in the waiting area and I noticed my legs and ankles were really swollen. 

I told Kerri and she said maybe I should not have put the portguese cream on top of the American cream on top of the repellent. No suncream that day luckily, else I could have actually made a trifle. 

We waited four hours. It was so hot so I got the free fan we got given in Vegas out and fanned us. For dinner we decided to sample the Brazilian Subway, which was fun as we didn't know what anything was in Portuguese but as we are such chronic Subway fans we smashed it. We could have navigated our way through the question order had it been in Arabic. Kerri: " Yes 6 inch, honey oat, yes cheese, yes tomatoes, no peppers, yes onion, yes cucumber yes eat now yes meal deal crisps and a coke."

Our night bus was luxurious. Only ten people on it and fully reclining BED seats which were a touch - and a blanket. There was a single mum her one-year-old, who was so cute, next to me who was so docile the whole way. We were woken up by the driver slamming on the brakes but it was all good.

When we arrived we were so spaced out and I lost Kerri's bag tag. She had mine and I had hers to begin with cos we were so tired we thought it didn't matter. The bus drove off and left us and the baggage man outside holding Kerri's bag back while she begged me to find it quick and i scrabbled round trying to find it throwing all my creams around wondering how much I could bribe him if it came to it when he let her have it out of sympathy, probably at the state of us. Money belts are HOT accessories. In terms of adding to your overall temperature that is, not swag haha. 

We then took another local bus and finally a taxi and arrived at Submarino hostel, where they told us it was the hottest day of their year. Jokes!