Grand canyon

So we arrived in Vegas and decided to have an early night.

No joke! We drove past all the grand hotels which were unbelievable. Excalibur was my favourite, it looked like a castle but not a shit castle like Lewes castle or even Arundel. Arrived at the Stratosphere, walked in to the most luxurious room where we each had a queen size bed! It was so good. There were towels! So many towels! For both of us! We immediately spread all our stuff everywhere, so good not having to
keep everything under lock and key.

Inside the hotel there was a tattoo parlor, hair salon, endless restaurants, one rotating restaurant overlooking Vegas, amusement rides, the option to jump off the 108th floor of the hotel, a pool, a chapel, a car, a casino, clothes shops and a grocery stoooorrrrrrrre.

We went to the concierge desk and spoke to a lovely woman called Brenda who had sparkly purple lipstick and nails and looked like one of the housewives from Edward scissorhands.

We booked onto a tour for the grand canyon and she said they'd be picking us up from our hotel at 5.35am. OH. So we had some drinks (rude not to) and went to bed! Made the mistake of drinking loads of coca cola before bed so we were both WIRED on caffeine and didnt sleep a wink.

Our hotel room phone rang at 4.40am and it was our driver confirming we were going on the tour. Good morning!

Dracula picked us up at 5.35am. He was a thin grey haired man in a long black coat with a deep voice with an Eastern European accent.

We traveled by coach to pick up more punters from other hotels then arrived at the tour depot. We were told to wait in the bus. Dracula went outside and spoke to a man and another man and had a cigarette and then returned and we were told to enter a big hall and stand in a line against the wall.

Then Danny devito's character from Matilda came in and started a sales pitch about the grand canyon helicopter tours and why we're getting such an amazing tour better than all the other tour companies. It was about 6.30am. Shut the front dooooorrr, we know why we're here! I turned round and put my forehead against the wall.

Then we were released and told to form a line to check in. Then we had to line up and wait by the door. Then some Russians with really intense faces who all looked like animations tried to push in the line and I felt lairy because I was tired and didn't let them push in.

Then we had to line up outside to board the bus. We sat down and the intense Russians who were like three middle aged couples who we hated sat all around us so we got up and went to the back of the bus.

Now, being tour guides ourselves, we were unimpressed with the organization so far....We actually set off at 7.30am!

We had a jokes tour guide called Dwayne who was a hilarious black guy, a complete joker with one of those black laughs that's like "ki ki ki ki ki"

We stopped first at HOOVERDAM which was like the shit stop you do on the Bath and stonehenge trip where you stop at Salisbury cathedral and noone gives a fuck they just wanna go to Bath. We made some jokes "Hoover well I'll be damned" and then went to Arizona.

We had to change buses to do the last 10 miles because the road was made of rocks and we transfered onto a bus made of dust and bounced up to the big GC itself.

It was sick.

We had lunch at a real red Indians ranch where one of them demonstrated an authentic red Indian dance. It was amazing.

We walked over the skywalk glass bridge which was fucking intense. At first I just walked accross it really fast and didnt look at anything or look down because I was too scared and then noticed Ken was being strong and casually enjoying the view so I went back on it and sweated some more.

We left the grand can about 3.30pm and got home at 7pm at this point we were fucked. Perfectly set up for a huge Saturday night out in Vegas haha