Christmas

So on Christmas eve I had work in the morning and was really hungover because there were a load of new faces at the hostel on Monday night to get drunk with. A new Brazilian girl called Barbara (babs to us) who fed me caiprihnas (absolute favourite cocktail) and A new Russian wigga called Sergey (pronounced SIR GAY) so we ripped him for a bit and he kept calling us gypsies because he wanted to be like Borat. His English slang was impressive and we taught him 'safe', 'fit' and 'sick' but he didnt understand fit and said in America if you see a girl with nice curves, she would be described as 'thick' and I said if you say "that girl is well thick" it's gonna sound harsh as fuck. But he wants to be black and so he'll continue using it.

Xmas eve we got food and and went and sat in a park on an ants nest and I was scared of getting actual ants in my actual pants because I was wearing hotpants and then a hobo started talking at us so we left and went and bought an ice cream as it was 24 degrees.

The hostel had a massive party on xmas eve, because xmas eve is huge in Brazil and the manager's Brazilian. 60 ppl from the other hostel came over and we met a really sweet Japanese girl, and two Saudi boys.

I guessed their country and was able to say something in Arabic after working with Saudi kids all summer.

Everyone played the didgeridoo and then a neighbour poked her head round the door and told us all to shudddduuup. 

On xmas day we woke up and Santa had of course been so we took our stockings outside to open them as it was 25 degrees. Kerri and I got each other a load of snacks that are perfect for a hangover -

(thoughtful and relevant)

and then we went back to the hostel because it was TOO HOT. everyone had gone to the other hostel for brunch and we'd missed out so we decided to walk into town with our shorts, t-shirts and Santa hats on and buy a lavish meal. En route a car beeped at us and someone shouted "Happy xmas" and then pulled up next to us and it was the Saudi boys. They said they were doing nothing so we invited them to get food with us on the condition that we were getting xmas dinner no matter what. We found a posh place and cracked on the three course xmas dinner with champagne (they had burgers) and we had a huge chat (Kerri was a hungover silent witness) about religion, owning camels, wearing white dresses in their passport photos, Ramadan, multiple wives, arranged marriages and chemical engineering!

Then we said bye and went home and I had a Portuguese reading lesson and hit the bud light and Kerri ate mascarpone and an Italian cooked us pasta for dinner.

Then I had to do a bar crawl and everyone was soo hungover that noone was even slightly up for it except a super polite gay American man, Fernando the happy Brazilian who drinks everyday and sleeps til 3, and an absolute nobby-no-friends 50yr old prick from Nottingham who, after asking where he was from said "im a citizen of the world...but you're from London aren't you" no actually I'm from South Cornwall. He said he'd been a squatter for 10 years and throughout the night kept obsessing over the cost of ATM machines, the cheap twat. I hated him. Everything he said was such a drain and everything anyone else said they had to repeat because he was deaf in one ear. Then he told a blonde joke. So the party crew walked into town which was mostly DEAD on xmas day night of course, walked past a pumping bar playing Pitbull - 'dont stop the party' and had to laugh because this party crew was sooo dry!! I didn't wanna drink cos I was already hungover from the party, Fernando didnt wanna drink when we got out cos of how dry the others were and 50yr old McGee wanted us all to get smashed on ale. Such a jokes situation.

Boxing day we went to the beach! Sunbathed in our bikinis! Got drunk! Smoked a cigar! Went out! Had a subway! Bed by 11!

Ate one piece of chocolate on xmas eve.

Happy alternative Christmas!!

Surfing and working

Our first week in San Diego has been wicked.... On Thursday we had our first rain since England and we had our first evening shift, we were working together and basically stood with our coats on, in a tiny outside washing machine hut in the dark, with the rain beating on our legs, with kerris phone for a light, folding loads of big sheets in a space about 1ft by 2ft haha. You have to roll a sheet inside a sheet on top of a pillowcase until it looks like a burrito so that was no problem.

Friday went surfing for the first time which was amazing to be in the sea and it wasn't cold. Then did yoga and meditation. Slightly too spiritual for my liking but jokes anyway. I kept opening my eyes and looking at how the others were doing it, trying to work out what to do.

Then we were told we were to be the tour guides for Tijuana, Mexico. One of the most notorious cities in the world for cartel violence, police corruption and robbery. Being polite English girls we said yes, telling ourselves it would be a laugh.

Learning that we'd be leading the tours, with a group of irresponsible travelers, to two or three bars then a strip club before trying to cross the border back into the USA, with everyone present, at 2am, swayed our decision to not feeling so cool about it. Plus we don't speak Spanish!

I mean, we are tour guide pros but Tijuana is a little different to Oxford.

We told them we didn't feel comfortable doing it and they were totes cool.

Saturday we went to an amazing farmers market on our doorstep and sampled loads of incredible food and then got a crew together and went to an English pub, where they wouldn't accept Kerris English driving licence haha and I bought everyone Tuaca.

Then we had a boogie at the hostel and were in bed by eleven. Those are our favorite nights, start drinking at 3 and in bed by 11!

Sunday was awesome, me and ken went down to the front and ate ice cream and saw loads of street performers there was a black guy swallowing a big long black balloon. No joke he just deep throated the whole thing and didn't bring it back up. Mind blowing. Then I had loads of parrots put on me and then we went and smoked hooka until it was time for work.

Had a staff meeting and got told we have 60 ppl coming for a party to this hostel on xmas eve, im cooking dinner for 31 tonight (Monday) and I am running a bar crawl on Wednesday! Xmas day!!

Went surfing today on a smaller board but still 7ft and learnt how to roll under waves, paddled out back with Thiago because I want to learn how to drop down onto the wave face, had some faaast waves - they are big here! Also had a super double wave wipeout which was scary! No sharks yet although the design on the body board which the south African girl is using is a close uo photo of a great white shark with its mouth open bearing all its razor teeth.

Taco terrors

On our second night we went out for tacos (taco Tuesday) and went to a restaurant with a terrace, really close to the San Diego airport's landing strip so we got to see loads of aeroplanes flying superr low over us while we ate, it was crazy loud and they came down completely out the blue like they were going to getcha.

It took ages for us to get served so we cracked on the drinks and got to know two Australian girls, Tess and Allie, who were jokers and loved the way I kept saying "innit" and I had to explain what it meant. Then we tricked a trucker-type guy into thinking we were Australian and they were English. Then I got too drunk so the accent suffered then we went back to the hostel and I blaired tunes out of my phone in the garden and drank Smirnoff ice with them as they'd got 12 for $12.

Then it was the morning and we were awake and starting work and still drunk and cleaning the hostel. Clearing up breakfast, changing beds, I was sweeping and mopping and then it hit me.

One of the worst hangovers of my life....screaming headache, sweats, dizziness. Down another glass of water. On top of that black coffee. Bend over to get the dustpan. Pumping, piercing, searing headache. Dreams of bed and a shower. Up the stairs. Trying to carry a full bucket of water down stairs and a mop and a broom. Another aspirin. No diggedy. Finish work. Shower. Another aspirin and ten gallons of water. Bed. Toss turn, chest pains, muscles twitching.

Suggestion to go get food. I'm the worst company ever. Completely silent with a face like Lynn from Alan partridge. One tuna sashimi salad later, a smile.

Enter the Australian girls. Hey how was your day? Worst hangover ever. Haha that's probably because we spiked your Smirnoff ice with vodka at the end of the night. Oh.

They were so much fun though, I let them off.

San Diego arrival

We took the greyhound bus from Vegas which was more expensive than mega bus and grimey and the dream of WiFi and a plug socket was smashed by our big black female bus driver who said there was NOTHING and told all the passengers the RULES OF THE BUS with a stern face on then shut herself behind a plastic screen and drove us to San Diego.

We got to our hostel where they had chipmonks music playing in reception and three awkward Chinese boys who couldn't speak a word of English trying to check in and they told us they didn't know if we were coming or not so there was only one bed. So the manager gave me hers and said she'd go and sleep on their boat. Yes this hostel has a boat, hyyyyped!

We were fed and then told the low down. 24 hours a week. Four hours a day, either at 10am-2pm or 7pm-11pm, one day off, free breakfast and dinner everyday, housekeeping to start but our first day off. A walk in the park.

We were shattered from travelling for 9.5 hours and Vegas, hoping for rehab after very little sleep but had to play loads of beer pong because that was the evening activity. It's like a big family, there's only 31 beds so everyone knows everyone, guests and staff. We felt like total newbies so I went into my shell (lol) but Kerri did the rounds chatting to everyone. We found out that we must be prepared to be drunk everyday. Heaven above.

There are two bungalows one for staff one for guests and a main house.

Everyones really nice. There are three or four other volunteers, all girls.

Kerri had to sleep in solitary confinement in the only free bed and I went to the managers bed in the bungalow. We got whatsapp out we cannot be apart.

The girls who cleaned Kens couldnt work out what sex she was. They said they found skateboarding shoes but then a hairbrush but then a guys top but then a feminine watch. So jokes when they told us.

Las Vegas

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, of course.

Grand canyon

So we arrived in Vegas and decided to have an early night.

No joke! We drove past all the grand hotels which were unbelievable. Excalibur was my favourite, it looked like a castle but not a shit castle like Lewes castle or even Arundel. Arrived at the Stratosphere, walked in to the most luxurious room where we each had a queen size bed! It was so good. There were towels! So many towels! For both of us! We immediately spread all our stuff everywhere, so good not having to
keep everything under lock and key.

Inside the hotel there was a tattoo parlor, hair salon, endless restaurants, one rotating restaurant overlooking Vegas, amusement rides, the option to jump off the 108th floor of the hotel, a pool, a chapel, a car, a casino, clothes shops and a grocery stoooorrrrrrrre.

We went to the concierge desk and spoke to a lovely woman called Brenda who had sparkly purple lipstick and nails and looked like one of the housewives from Edward scissorhands.

We booked onto a tour for the grand canyon and she said they'd be picking us up from our hotel at 5.35am. OH. So we had some drinks (rude not to) and went to bed! Made the mistake of drinking loads of coca cola before bed so we were both WIRED on caffeine and didnt sleep a wink.

Our hotel room phone rang at 4.40am and it was our driver confirming we were going on the tour. Good morning!

Dracula picked us up at 5.35am. He was a thin grey haired man in a long black coat with a deep voice with an Eastern European accent.

We traveled by coach to pick up more punters from other hotels then arrived at the tour depot. We were told to wait in the bus. Dracula went outside and spoke to a man and another man and had a cigarette and then returned and we were told to enter a big hall and stand in a line against the wall.

Then Danny devito's character from Matilda came in and started a sales pitch about the grand canyon helicopter tours and why we're getting such an amazing tour better than all the other tour companies. It was about 6.30am. Shut the front dooooorrr, we know why we're here! I turned round and put my forehead against the wall.

Then we were released and told to form a line to check in. Then we had to line up and wait by the door. Then some Russians with really intense faces who all looked like animations tried to push in the line and I felt lairy because I was tired and didn't let them push in.

Then we had to line up outside to board the bus. We sat down and the intense Russians who were like three middle aged couples who we hated sat all around us so we got up and went to the back of the bus.

Now, being tour guides ourselves, we were unimpressed with the organization so far....We actually set off at 7.30am!

We had a jokes tour guide called Dwayne who was a hilarious black guy, a complete joker with one of those black laughs that's like "ki ki ki ki ki"

We stopped first at HOOVERDAM which was like the shit stop you do on the Bath and stonehenge trip where you stop at Salisbury cathedral and noone gives a fuck they just wanna go to Bath. We made some jokes "Hoover well I'll be damned" and then went to Arizona.

We had to change buses to do the last 10 miles because the road was made of rocks and we transfered onto a bus made of dust and bounced up to the big GC itself.

It was sick.

We had lunch at a real red Indians ranch where one of them demonstrated an authentic red Indian dance. It was amazing.

We walked over the skywalk glass bridge which was fucking intense. At first I just walked accross it really fast and didnt look at anything or look down because I was too scared and then noticed Ken was being strong and casually enjoying the view so I went back on it and sweated some more.

We left the grand can about 3.30pm and got home at 7pm at this point we were fucked. Perfectly set up for a huge Saturday night out in Vegas haha

Venice beach

We arrived back in LA after 8 hours on our beloved megabus and then took the local bus for an hour and 20 minutes to Venice beach.

Our hostel is pretty much on the beach and right in front of the skate park, it's perfect! It's our first mixed dorm and as soon as we got in our room we saw about 3 skateboards so Kerri was stoked. Our roommates this time include: two Brazilian guys who are always stoned and never socialize with anyone, an aussie guy who had just finished an epic 9 month round the world trip and two French guys.The French guys are cray. We arrived with loads of booze and cracked straight on it and they told us so many crazy stories.... They spent the night in central park sleeping rough, they bought an old FBI car and crashed it on route 66 and one of them slept on the streets with a homeless guy one night and got offered crack. We went to a bar and they almost got kicked out for eating the cherries used for cocktails but managed to talk their way out. We went back to the hostel, I found a dinosaur hat and they produced a massive tin of FREEZE DRIED macaroni cheese which they'd stolen from another hostel. They poured it all over the hostel kitchen and while we were cleaning it up Kerri got us a snack from the vending machine and produced some sort of atomic aniseed chewy fireball sweets which she thought were nuts. We hadn't had any dinner so were starving so we had to eat them and they were SO INTENSE and chewy and tasted like sambuca and then we went to our room and the aussie was telling stories about how he drank such and such and then vommidid everyweeea and kept saying vommidid so much and I kept repeating it in my head. Then one of the Frenchys did a wee in the sink and everyone was like "err, not cool man".

In the day times we just walked up and down the boardwalk, one time we saw a BEARDED LADY which I couldn't believe. Like a full beard. Then we saw half a man. The top half. Just a head, tshirt, street. We couldn't work him out. It looked like he was coming out of a drain and only half of him was out but there was no drain. We later saw that there was a local freakshow so they're obviously part of it and we decided not to go in because it would be too much.

We hired skateboards and skated up the boardwalk, got a pitcher of beer, drank that and then skating got easier. Kerri did a load of tricks pissed then we went to the skatepark and watched the absolutely fearless skaters relentlessly trying to land and perfect the sickest tricks.

Today we had hangovers because we drank loaaads last night, met two women from Portugal on a surf and skate trip, a super geek from Austria and then we all went out to a burlesque show where a lady had a washing line around her boobs with pegs on it.

There's loads of people working out here and also loads of homeless people that choose to live on the beach. Shorts and tshirt weather in the day but freezing at night. The sunset over the sea is beautiful and the haze after the sun has set is cool too with the palm trees and city behind.

Chronic weed eveywhere. "Green doctors" which advertise saying they can write you a prescription for a small price and then you get a licence to legally smoke weed. I can't believe Arnie is mayor here! California is just a jokers state! Everyones crazy!

Found the coolest food place ever, called poke poke, the surfers sashimi and that was incredible. All our food here has been amazing, the other day I had a "muscle beach scramble" for breakfast.
Then we saw a sign saying alligator jerky, went in and was given a sample of frozen popcorn!



Hostel life is so fun. sharing with boys stinks tho and at night its a cacophony of snores....resulting in five ear plugs in each ear and a nose peg. Next we have an actual hotel....

Bring on Vegas!

San Francisco

So our Asian Australian room mates got kicked out of a strip club and I woke up to one of them (there's the stressy one and the sleepy one, Kerri can't tell them apart by looking at them so this is how we differentiate. Sometimes stressy shouts at sleepy to wake up) stressy, passed out, dressed for the day, with all her bags packed, on our floor. She had no recollection of her night and then sleepy woke up gave us loads of clothes and shoes!

We hired bikes to cycle accross the Golden gate bridge, to the park, around the park and then back to our hostel, easy right yeah easy yeah that'll be fine no problem.
Cycling the bridge was so cool! We asked some Japanese tourists to take our photo and they took it on my phone and also on all of their cameras! Many times! Then one jumped in with us and they all snapped that! Mega lols!

San Fran is hilly as fuck and the hills are steep as fuck and our legs were CRYING after about 2 hours. We had massively underestimated the distance and route we'd set for ourselves! We thought we would surely come accross a watering hole in the park but NOTHING. We threw all our toys out the pram and sacked off the park and then eventually found a Safeways (throw back!) and when asked where the toilets were got shown to an unmarked door which led upstairs, past the "control room" and deep into the back stage world of Safeways like a dirty secret. Refreshed, we ripped back to the bike shop with 40 mins to spare. We had cycled for 5 hours with a 20 min break!

Kerri got her PE teacher stretches out and we bent into every position at the side of the road and then went for a beer in a pub, crashing an office Christmas party.

Then we went out to play beer Olympics (flipcup, beer pong and rock paper scissors). It's becoming more and more noticeable that we seem to attract characters. Replacing stressy and sleepy, we got a new roommate who was old before her time, really bossy and who kept telling everyone they were playing wrong - and she was called Jenna, what an outrage! Then we had a French cheese whose name was Gruyere and a red Indian who wouldn't stop smiling, made you guess everything about him whilst constantly moving like the Tekken characters at the beginning of a fight, swaying forwards and backwards with his hands outstretched. Then a man appeared who said he was from the Grand Canyon which I couldn't understand-where does he put all his furniture?
I quickly downed two beers to lubricate the situation. It was like we had been thrown into a middle-aged misfits speed dating event. Kerri referred to them as the "dry your eyes crew".

"Table tennis Dennis" knows her way around a ping pong ball and I lucked out on a few shots so we stole the game from one team we played who were like the characters from the big bang theory.

The day after the 22.7 mile cycle we were made completely of wood. We walked to the gay district called Castro and saw shops called "hand job" and "rock hard" and heard people who sounded like the narrator from the honey badger video walking around everywhere. We went to a bar called "zeitgeist" which is apparently Quentin Tarrantinos favorite bar. It was cool, I had one of the best bloody Marys ever....it had French beans and olives in it as well as lemon and lime hanging over the edge. A salad.

The next day we went back to see the sea lions and whilst sitting down with a coffee a strangely dressed old Chinese man sat down next to Kerri and started chatting nonsense right in her face. She looked like she had smelt a terrible smell and instantly got up and walked off. He said "why you go?" as we were getting up but we gave no answer.

Then we went into a Russian doll shop and Kerri received a full lecture on every single doll in the shop from a real Russian woman who sounded like all the Russian students (yeeus) and we couldn't leave and I was filming it and trying not to laugh and Kerri was being really polite and tried to interrupt the lecture by getting her completely relevant Russian doll tattoo out but the woman didn't give a shit she just wanted to lecture.

Then we went to Lombard street because its super windy, wiggly and bendy and whilst I was taking a lovely photograph of Kerri, a voice from behind me simply said, "dont eat the fish in the Pacific ocean".

Oh

Now, we hadn't been talking about fish or eating or anything other than what a beauty the view was and wondering what jokers made the road so windy. He, however, had more pressing matters on his mind than the petty aesthetics with which we were occupied and obviously felt compelled to warn us about the radiation right then and there, with his Australian cork hat on and his two dogs.

Then we went to an Irish bar and had delicious home food like gravy and sausage and mash and it felt like Sunday.

We're off to Venice beach now back on the mega bus! Can't wait for some warm weather again.

San Francisco was so pretty. It felt really sophisticated and a lot like home but with a European vibe too with the cable cars. Our hostel was so so good, the best one yet.

Day one in San Fran

Today was one of the best days ever.

We woke up hungover but when is that ever a problem. We had amazing free breakfast and then trotted off with a really soft banana to Fisherman's Wharf. We paid our $30 dollars each and boarded the Ferry to Alcatraz!!!! Something we have both wanted to do forever.

On the way over to San Fran on the trusty megabus, I started reading 'Papillon' which is a true story of a Frenchman who was innocently incarcerated for manslaughter at 25 and sent down for life...and escapes ...so was well in the mood for Alcatraz.

Alcatraz was absolutely amazing. We did an audio tour which takes you around the cells, you can go inside the cells - we stepped in with trepidation! They show you the escape plot - how the three prisoners made fake heads out of soap and cement and stuck real hair onto them to put in their beds while they did a runner out the air vent after digging it out with a spoon. Pretty incredible. Then they sailed away in a boat made from a RAINCOAT. Brave as.

We sat in the sun in the exercise yard for a while and it was super super quiet.

We spent about 3 hours there in total and absolutely loved it.

Then we went for lunch on Pier 39 at a place someone recommended to us called "Bubbagump Shrimp" which is themed on Forest Gump and it was delicious.

Then, we turned the corner to be greeted by a massive sea lion sleepover! A chorus of barking, spluttering, sneezing, hoarse black writhing slugs with whiskers. HAHA!

It was like the aftermath of a rave. Most were passed out and hugging each other with fins draped on each other, spooning, while others were sporadically shouting out. Others were making out. Some were fighting. One small skinny one looked like Snoop.

We stood there loling at them for ages and then went and got a cable car down to Union Square to get Cheesecake on another recommendation from the same person. We got it from The Cheesecake Factory in a very nice department store and after getting sketched out by having to go down about 6 escalators, we ate it outside in the Square...it was so rich we couldn't finish it. 

then we went into a shop in china town to buy a souvenir and the oldish lady behind the counter was jogging on the spot and continued to jog on the spot while she served me. so hard not to laugh.

We love San Francisco.

LA to San Fran

We bounced our way into San Francisco on an 8 hour double decker Megabus and absolutely loved it, no joke. I think it's because we are pros at coach travel from busting up and down the country to Stonehenge and Bath every weekend with work. We sat at the front at the top so we had an amazing view, next to an old Japanese couple.

We took the bus to our hostel, The Green Tortoise, which is definitely the best hostel yet - it's massive, comfortable, we get free breakfast everyday and dinner three times a week, there are events on everyday (we're doing beer olympics tomorrow) a piano in the common room, and massage chairs in reception.

We also paid for an 8 bed dorm but got put in a 4 bed so even better. Our two room mates are Aussie-Asian girls and one was asleep when we got there at 8.30pm. GEDDUP.

We're staying in Little Italy,  next to Chinatown and went out trying to find bars in our area but there are just plenty of strip clubs. We walked past 'Mr Bing's cocktail bar' but it was completely dead apart from who we assumed to be Mr Bing himself, sat at the bar staring longingly into his laptop.

We went to the area called Mission and met loads of characters - one guy who kept trying to do a UK accent to us, called ULCER, claimed to be friends with everyone in San Francisco and invited us to a party with all his friends in San Francisco but we will not be attending.

Then we went to a shop and I bought the longest pepperami in the world and then spied some eggs in a basked on the counter and thought which chicken has been here and as I was puzzling over it, a kind man who was leaving the shop turned and said 'DO YOU WANT ME TO BUY YOU AN EGGGG????' and I said I don't know I dont want an egg if it is raw because then it will just be long having to carry around a fragile egg. He said that they are not raw they are hard boiled. I did not believe him. He bought me the egg for 50 cents and I took it and smashed it on the floor outside and it proved me wrong by not creating a mess but simply cracking and revealing a small, high-protein, jokes, late-night snack.

Then Kerri started talking to Mr Egypt in the pizza shop who said we looked like sisters.

Fun facts

Upon weigh-in at JFK, Kerri's bag weighed 22Kg, mine weighs 31kg! Which is pretty much half my body weight! must get rid of more stuff - the coat and scarf are going soon. RUTHLESS. I am a walking library, with a total of 6 books, specialising in languages, travel guides and epics. You can borrow a book if you present a valid library card. So far we have already dumped one pair of trainers, Shantaram (because it's the size of three books), two pairs of gloves, one pack of cards (we're not gay) and David Attenborough's autobiography didn't make it from NYC - Sorry Davey.

Hollywhat the fuck

We got a shuttle bus from LAX, which was t-shirt weather when we arrived, with about 5 other people. One was a 7 yr old Australian girl called Madisson (with two "s"s) who targeted Kerri and told her she'd already been to Hollywood about 5 times. You could sense kerris internal monologue was saying "shut the fuck up you little brat I just want to look out the window" and I was pretending to be asleep. we dropped madisson off at the beverly hilton, which is where whitney houston died in the bath and where they host the golden globes.

We got to our hostel and was met by the most unenthusiastic man in the world on reception, who we now think is constantly smacked off his tits, and went to our room. We couldn't tell which beds were free and there was stuff everywhere and the beds looked like the previous person had just left. I decided the best way to view it was like a bed at a house party, where you don't know whose it is and don't care, you're just fucked and need sleep. Kerri whipped out the trusty silk sleeping bag liner. Our roommate (singular) returned -a Japanese girl who had taken over the whole 4 other beds and floor. There was a sweet bap in a wrapper on my bed too. I think that belonged to her. She was rank, she actually left a trail of blood from the bathroom to the room.

We went out and felt sketched out right away, hobos everywhere, shady guys who stopped to look at us, not many people around at all and groups of Latinos like Touco from BB.

Had some drinks at a bar, chatted to a bouncer from Colombia for a while and then got chips and came home.

In the daylight it was much better! Tourists, sunshine, glitter, characters from films, Ben stiller was here doing a hand and footprint for the walk of fame, we had breakfast at Snow White cafe and then did a tour to see the Hollywood sign and the houses of a few celebs...Nicole Richie, Jason Statham and Laurence Fishbourne.

Hollywood is weird. It's not what we thought it'd be. I guess if you're here for longer than 1 day you'd visit nearby beaches and towns but we just saw Hollywood and it's quite sickly... The grandeur of the celebrity status shouldering endless homeless people and crack heads. It's also pretty small! The walk of fame is funny though, even Lassie has a star!

In NYC we got told by a couple from Doncaster to avoid downtown LA, especially a place called skidrow where there's 6000 homeless people piled on top of each other on a 2 mile strip. Not sure where it is...we're coming back to LA after San Fran so maybe we'll come accross it.

We feel like its good prep for Vegas because we imagine that's going to be next level bizarre!!

We're taking the bus to San Francisco tomorrow! Well excited! Have heard so many good things....

NYC

Left JFK, sat down on the subway, looked to my right at the graffiti on the train and oh look a cock and balls! A good sign! Haha

Our hostel was amazing, like a big house ran by three cool people. Two American girls and one Algerian guy who kept trying to feed us cake in the mornings.

We went out to see times square on the first night and its like you've got the big light on. Well bright. So overwhelming!

We saw the Macy's thanksgiving parade, saw Santa, took a photo and then our fingers immediately turned to icicles and fell off so we just had one thumb out of the glove for snapping.

One thing I loved about NYC was the smells of food everywhere all the time! Super sweet smells, grilled meat, pretzels the lot.

We went everywhere and eventually became subway pros, the system's so easy to use and the street numbers are bleddy handsome.

central park was amazing, there were runners, horses and carriages and taxis within the same 100 metres.

On the way to the empire state building, a group of tricksters were stood with fake orange uniforms and IDs telling us that it's a 3 hour wait and $60 on the door but with their exclusive service we could slip in the back door (woah) for just $69.99! A con. Fuck off. We got in for $27 the normal way after a 30 min wait. Went up to the 102nd floor and it was amaaaaaazing. We imagined what 9/11 must have looked like for the people seeing it from the top of the empire state.

We didn't go out properly (out out) til Saturday cos we were fucked from solid trotting around NYC and jet lag we did go for drinks after our family thanksgiving meal at the hostel with a French dancing woman called Lucie (she wasn't dancing during the drinks).

Saturday we went to Brooklyn brewery and got smashed and went to a vintage clothes shop and were silly then went to see "underexposed" a girl's skateboarding documentary screening at the flat of the founder of
Girls riders organization, Courtney. We chatted to a skater called Dan who told us where to go out and we shared a cab with a girl called Agatha who spoke well slowly.

We went to a bar called cake shop where we met a Londoner called Oliver who was bragging about being loaded and bought us like a 75ml shot of fucking red aftershock, which Kerri "doesn't do shots" - turned - "down in one" Dennis, necked without flinching. He told us to say "snazzy jumper" to Americans to make them love our accent even more.

We then ran to a club called home sweet home where a Chinese man asked if my Nike air maxs were UGGS.

We danced to Selena Gomez (win) and then fell I asleep on the subway blaring out tunes from my phone with Kerri dancing to rudimental.

Sunday we went to CONEY PONY LOADA BALONEY island which was weird! And Brighton beach (represent) and little Russia and the beastie boys park memorial and I nearly shed a tear. Didnt manage to see any hiphop in NYC but the last thing we walked past before getting the tube to the airport to fly out to LA, was a big guy listening to "still dre" loudly in his car and it capped it off perfectly.

Departure questionairre

So we set off from college and after getting past rush hour traffic out of Brighton, got onto the M23 when the car started feeling odd and rattling and starting to lose control. Due to our crises management training as activity leaders, we remained cool, calm and collected and Rosanna got us from the fast lane onto the hard shoulder where we jumped out of the car and got hit by the smell of burning rubber. Complete burnout on the front wheel.

Rosanna was really shaken and we were all quite stunned but lucky to be alive...now how the fuck are we gonna get to the airport with only three wheels, a time limit and at a place where taxis don't stop?

Called Ovingdean and a full rescue mission unfolded! Craig and florie arrived, florie waited with Rosanna for her car to get sorted and Craig roosted us up to Heathrow. We got there with 40 mins to get through security etc and sat in the departure lounge, spaced-out to fuck, contemplating the mornings alternative hypothetical outcomes.

Feeling invincible we got the plane and took advantage of the free booze...the wait for the trolley to come round took for fucking ever but as soon as that wine hit, all was good.

Mental start to something we already felt pretty unnerved about!!

We got fed a tray of shit on the plane...like a SOCK of pizza and ice cream that I threw all down my jumper...and what are you meant to do with a hot wet wipe?  I just placed it on my neck like other people were doing? And watched a surfing film set in California. Boom.

Security was harsh I was freaking out because I thought I had something on me that I shouldn't have. But, I didnt and it was fine and a cheeky finger print and iris scan later, we got let into America!...