So our Asian Australian room mates got kicked out of a strip club and I woke up to one of them (there's the stressy one and the sleepy one, Kerri can't tell them apart by looking at them so this is how we differentiate. Sometimes stressy shouts at sleepy to wake up) stressy, passed out, dressed for the day, with all her bags packed, on our floor. She had no recollection of her night and then sleepy woke up gave us loads of clothes and shoes!
We hired bikes to cycle accross the Golden gate bridge, to the park, around the park and then back to our hostel, easy right yeah easy yeah that'll be fine no problem.
Cycling the bridge was so cool! We asked some Japanese tourists to take our photo and they took it on my phone and also on all of their cameras! Many times! Then one jumped in with us and they all snapped that! Mega lols!
San Fran is hilly as fuck and the hills are steep as fuck and our legs were CRYING after about 2 hours. We had massively underestimated the distance and route we'd set for ourselves! We thought we would surely come accross a watering hole in the park but NOTHING. We threw all our toys out the pram and sacked off the park and then eventually found a Safeways (throw back!) and when asked where the toilets were got shown to an unmarked door which led upstairs, past the "control room" and deep into the back stage world of Safeways like a dirty secret. Refreshed, we ripped back to the bike shop with 40 mins to spare. We had cycled for 5 hours with a 20 min break!
Kerri got her PE teacher stretches out and we bent into every position at the side of the road and then went for a beer in a pub, crashing an office Christmas party.
Then we went out to play beer Olympics (flipcup, beer pong and rock paper scissors). It's becoming more and more noticeable that we seem to attract characters. Replacing stressy and sleepy, we got a new roommate who was old before her time, really bossy and who kept telling everyone they were playing wrong - and she was called Jenna, what an outrage! Then we had a French cheese whose name was Gruyere and a red Indian who wouldn't stop smiling, made you guess everything about him whilst constantly moving like the Tekken characters at the beginning of a fight, swaying forwards and backwards with his hands outstretched. Then a man appeared who said he was from the Grand Canyon which I couldn't understand-where does he put all his furniture?
I quickly downed two beers to lubricate the situation. It was like we had been thrown into a middle-aged misfits speed dating event. Kerri referred to them as the "dry your eyes crew".
"Table tennis Dennis" knows her way around a ping pong ball and I lucked out on a few shots so we stole the game from one team we played who were like the characters from the big bang theory.
The day after the 22.7 mile cycle we were made completely of wood. We walked to the gay district called Castro and saw shops called "hand job" and "rock hard" and heard people who sounded like the narrator from the honey badger video walking around everywhere. We went to a bar called "zeitgeist" which is apparently Quentin Tarrantinos favorite bar. It was cool, I had one of the best bloody Marys ever....it had French beans and olives in it as well as lemon and lime hanging over the edge. A salad.
The next day we went back to see the sea lions and whilst sitting down with a coffee a strangely dressed old Chinese man sat down next to Kerri and started chatting nonsense right in her face. She looked like she had smelt a terrible smell and instantly got up and walked off. He said "why you go?" as we were getting up but we gave no answer.
Then we went into a Russian doll shop and Kerri received a full lecture on every single doll in the shop from a real Russian woman who sounded like all the Russian students (yeeus) and we couldn't leave and I was filming it and trying not to laugh and Kerri was being really polite and tried to interrupt the lecture by getting her completely relevant Russian doll tattoo out but the woman didn't give a shit she just wanted to lecture.
Then we went to Lombard street because its super windy, wiggly and bendy and whilst I was taking a lovely photograph of Kerri, a voice from behind me simply said, "dont eat the fish in the Pacific ocean".
Oh
Now, we hadn't been talking about fish or eating or anything other than what a beauty the view was and wondering what jokers made the road so windy. He, however, had more pressing matters on his mind than the petty aesthetics with which we were occupied and obviously felt compelled to warn us about the radiation right then and there, with his Australian cork hat on and his two dogs.
Then we went to an Irish bar and had delicious home food like gravy and sausage and mash and it felt like Sunday.
We're off to Venice beach now back on the mega bus! Can't wait for some warm weather again.
San Francisco was so pretty. It felt really sophisticated and a lot like home but with a European vibe too with the cable cars. Our hostel was so so good, the best one yet.
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